Tuesday, 14 October 2014
Guard Your Heart
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
The topic of discussion today on the christian radio station I was listening to was guarding your heart. Oftentimes I don't think people take this issue seriously, especially women. We can be very vulnerable at times and those opportunities can be exploited by someone who does not have our best interests at heart.
I'm not talking about courtship or purity in this instance. I'm aiming this discussion at women in any type of romantic relationship but in particular to those who are married.
I'm sure you remember the blush of first love when your man could do no wrong. You loved all those little quirky things about him. That is what made him special and what helped you fall in love with him. Fast forward a few years. Your love has become almost rote. You live in the day-to-day dealings of raising children, taking care of the house, paying the bills, doing the laundry, getting the groceries, and the list goes on and on. You begin to become annoyed by all those quirky things that no longer seem so endearing. You begin to focus on all the things that get under your skin rather than the things you love about your spouse.
Then one day you are at the gym. It's the only time you have for yourself after all. You notice the man on the treadmill next to you watching the same show as you so you strike up a conversation. Soon you are looking forward to those gym days more than ever - not for the workout - but to see if your "friend" will be there so you can talk. He's so much fun after all and he understands you so well. See where this is headed?
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk from your lips.
Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.
We are called to keep our focus on God. "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you." By beginning a relationship with the man at the gym, you are setting yourself up to fall hard and fast and not in a good way. Women are very susceptible to "emotional affairs" where they seek out affirmation and companionship from another person. As I mentioned in a previous post, women need to feel loved. If they don't feel that at home, they will look for it elsewhere. It may never become physical, but even an emotional affair can have lasting damage.
Do not seek out affirmation of your marriage outside of your marriage. Look to your husband. Work on that relationship. Marriage is work. It's worth it. No one ever promised it was easy and if they did, they lied!
Here's another scenario for you. You are out to dinner with some girlfriends. One of them, newly married, begins to complain about all the things her husband is doing wrong. Soon another chimes in with her list of complaints and before you know it, everyone at the table seems to be trying to one up the other in how badly their husbands treat them.
You need to be careful about tearing your husband down in public. "Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk from your lips." Be the one who doesn't say anything negative about your husband while with a group of friends. In fact, be the one who praises him. Share something good instead.
One thing I have noticed over time is that when you focus on the negative that is all you will see. If you focus on the positive, you will begin to see that more instead. If you can't seem to remember why on earth you ever married this person sharing a house with you, pull out your wedding album. Write a list of all the things you love about him. What made you fall in love with him? Keep it handy and refer to it as often as you need to so that that positive begins to overtake the negative.
The heart you gave to your husband on your wedding day is his and his alone. It's your job to keep it safe for him.