Blessing Your Home

My bathroom with just a few fall decorations.

Autumn is definitely in the air here in the Northeast of the United States. The temperatures are dropping and the leaves are changing. This is one of my most favorite times of year. My only regret is that it's so fleeting. It seems once the leaves get colorful they fall to the ground and winter sets in seemingly in the blink of an eye. 

However, summer always seems to give one last hurrah. This past weekend it made itself known one more time. The temperatures were in the mid-80s. It had folks digging back out their flip-flops and shorts. On Saturday I spent the day outside at our local Apple Pumpkin Festival. The 4H club I run had a bake sale booth there to raise funds for our club. 

Keeping with the fall theme, I had gone to our local dollar store to pick up some fall-ish decorations for our booth. I decided to purchase them with my own money so that I could use them for my own house after the festival. Sunday afternoon I did just that. 

While I went around finding places to drape some fake fall leaves, I thought to myself - "I'm blessing our home." It only took me just a few minutes to put up the few decorations I had. I also moved around a couple of wall hangings as I had recently purchased one that needed a home on my wall.

The big picture (literally and figuratively) in my dining room. 

Yes, I have a wall of books. I'm a homeschooling mom and a bibliophile. And those books are only the ones for school. My personal books are on a small bookcase in another room and my poor hubby still has all of his books in totes in the basement. 

I love this painting. At the beginning of the month I spent the day shopping with my extended family. At our last store I spotted a bunch of these canvas prints but they were all framed and just a tad too pricey for my budget. I kept browsing and spied this one. It was unframed and on sale! Needless to say I snapped it up and couldn't wait to find a new place for it in my home. It fits on this wall perfectly and I absolutely love the scale of it. It is roughly three feet by two feet. 

This wonderful hand tatted name was created for us by a friend when we bought our home. It used to hang in the dining room where the new large painting resides. This is now hanging right by our front door.

Even my hubby's moose antlers had to get dressed up for the season. 

It didn't take me much time or money to dress up my house for the season. Typically the only season or holiday I decorate for is Christmas. However, this year I decided to spend some time blessing my home and changing things up a bit for fall. Will I do this next year? Who knows. Sometimes it all depends on if my children feel it's a "tradition" that needs to be kept or if it's just for my pleasure. Either reason is reason enough.

Happy Fall!

Lisa is a wife to Bob. They just began their 21st year of marriage. She is also a mom to three boys (ironic, no?). Her oldest will soon be 18 but still has one more year at home. Her middle son is 13 and her youngest is 10. She also stays busy by homeschooling her children and watching a two-year old (a boy of course) full-time as well as other assorted children as the need arises for family and friends. She is very active in her local and state homeschooling community. She is also a very avid reader, enjoys writing, loves dancing at Zumba class, and checking Facebook a little too often. Lisa strives daily to become more Christ-like. She is reminded often of the Lord's mercy and grace and is thankful that He is so gracious to extend to her on a much needed basis. She lives in Maine on her own piece of "no-where land" with her family.

Mothers and Daughters (in-laws)

The Berry Family 2014

with all the inlaws and outlaws included.

When you are standing at the alter and say "I do," not only are you gaining a spouse, but you are gaining an entirely new family as well. This can be a daunting prospect depending on how your own family dynamics were growing up. 

Let me preface this entire thing by saying that I have been truly blessed by my in-laws. They accepted me without question and we have had a pretty smooth relationship over the last 21 years. I know exactly how blessed I am for this. I've heard all the mother-in-law jokes and listened as my friends shared their horror stories of in-laws who made their lives as seemingly miserable as they possibly could.

Until two years ago I lived directly across the driveway from my in-laws for eight years. Included on our little compound was my husband's grandparents. I used to jokingly call it the "Berry Commune." We lived on 100 acres and respected boundaries - literally and figuratively. My children spent many of their formative years there. My youngest was only eight months old when we moved on to the property. He was eight years old when we left. It was our own little piece of heaven. One of the hardest decisions we made was to move an hour away from our extended family for my husband's work. The mitigating factor that had us really thinking hard if it would be a good move or not was the fact that we would be moving so far away from family.

The relationship between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law has been fraught with strife from the beginning of time I'm sure. I won't go in to all the reasons for it as that would simply take far too much time for me to write or you to read. However, I will share some ideas on how to make it work from the perspective of one day being a mother-in-law.

I'm going to keep it very simple...if you had a mother-in-law who treated you poorly, do the exact opposite of whatever she did. If she was constantly giving an opinion when one wasn't asked for, resolve to not do that. If she dropped in to check up on things seemingly all the time and without notice, schedule your visits. If she offered unsolicited advice on how to raise her grandchildren, make every effort to only offer advice when asked. 

I'm praying that when the day arrives, I can eagerly welcome a daughter in to my life. I hope that you are praying for the future spouse of your child. Remember that as much as you love your child, God loves them more and has a wonderful plan in store for them. Our job as parents is to help guide them on that path but we can't force them to take the road we think they should. We need to step back and allow God to work in their lives. His plans are far better than anything we could have ever imagined.

Thankfully I have had two great examples to follow, my own mother as well as my mother-in-law. I know for a fact that there were times my mother did not approve of someone one of her children was dating (including myself). However, she held her tongue and prayed - a lot I'm sure! She allowed us to come to that realization ourselves (thankfully I did before I ever said I do!) and I'm sure she thanked God profusely. I'm also sure that there have been times when my mother-in-law wanted to give an opinion about something that was happening in our young lives when her son and I were first married but she didn't. We have a great relationship and I'm so very thankful.

If you have not been blessed enough to have someone to look to as an example, either your own mother or your own mother-in-law, look for another example. Resolve to be different. Resolve to follow God's instruction on how we should act with one another.

If we follow God's lead on our relationship with our married children, it's more apt to be easier. I'm not saying it will be easier, but I'm saying it can be easier. Remember, we are called to love everyone - even difficult in-laws. 

Lisa is a wife to Bob. They just began their 21st year of marriage. She is also a mom to three boys (ironic, no?). Her oldest will soon be 18 but still has one more year at home. Her middle son is 13 and her youngest is 10. She also stays busy by homeschooling her children and watching a two-year old (a boy of course) full-time as well as other assorted children as the need arises for family and friends. She is very active in her local and state homeschooling community. She is also a very avid reader, enjoys writing, loves dancing at Zumba class, and checking Facebook a little too often. Lisa strives daily to become more Christ-like. She is reminded often of the Lord's mercy and grace and is thankful that He is so gracious to extend to her on a much needed basis. She lives in Maine on her own piece of "no-where land" with her family.

Quiet Time for Moms

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I'm sure a few of you saw the title of this post and just groaned. Maybe you even tossed in an eye roll for good measure. I can relate. Here I am a mom in my early 40s and I still struggle with being consistent in my quiet time with the Lord. Yes, I know how important it is. Yes, I know I should do it first thing in the morning before the rest of the day gets away from me. I certainly know it's the most important thing I can do each every day. And I always seem to make time for all my other tasks each day.

But let's be honest. It's hard to get in the routine. So I'm not going to sit here and tell you all the things you should be doing. I simply want to encourage you to find a way that works best for you. 

Oftentimes as a young mom I would hear people say to get up before your children. That way you could have your quiet time when the little ones weren't being loud and vying for attention. However, if like me you are so not a morning person but birthed a child who is a morning person, you know how difficult that can be. I would have had to be up at about four in the morning in order to beat my middle son out of bed each and every day. He arrived in the world that way and at age 13, he's still the first one out of bed every morning. As a sleep deprived young mom of three active boys, there was no way I could have been up that early every day and been able to function adequately.

I remember trying one time to get up before my early bird child. I thought if I could get up around 6am, I would have time to exercise and do my quiet time before 7am. My middle kiddo was about 4 or 5 at the time. I placed a Thomas sticker on his clock on the number seven and told him that when the little hand reached that number, he could get up in the morning. 

The very next day around 6:30am I heard loud wailing coming from his bedroom which he happened to share with his two year old brother who was also now awake. The problem? "Mom, the hands are never going to get to Thomas!!" <sigh> So I understand the difficulty, ladies, I really do.

So here are some practical tips that you may find helpful.

• Use naptime to your advantage. Yes, it's very tempting to clean the house or chill on the computer during that time, but take a few minutes and give those to the Lord first. If your children have outgrown naps, I recommend implementing a quiet time for them as well. Have them in their rooms looking at books or playing quietly on their beds. Remember, children model what they see. Make sure they have a picture Bible to look at and begin teaching them how to do their own quiet time. 
• While mornings are best, if you are a night owl like me, you may find giving the Lord some time in the evening is what works best. Just make it consistent. I would also recommend not doing an evening quiet time while laying in bed. That always ends with me snoozing!
• Find a Bible study to attend. I was very blessed when my boys were young to be able to participate in a wonderful mom Bible study. We took turns in the nursery watching the children so all the rest could enjoy some mom time and study time. Being accountable each week to others for having done my homework helped me to find the time each day to complete it. 
• Mothers of Preschoolers or MOPS is a fantastic support group for moms of young ones. There is typically a book that is read and discussed each year. There is typically a nursery and MOPPETS for the children to participate in as well. I was active in my MOPS group for a few years when my youngest was small and I have some very found memories of that time and made some lasting friends as well.
• Proverbs31 Ministries leads online an Bible study if the thought of getting out of the house with lots of little ones is daunting. In fact, their next study starts on this Monday, September 22nd. They will be going through Lysa TerKeurst's new book, The Best Yes. 
• Include your children in your study. Read out loud from the Bible while you have lunch and then discuss what you just read. Do you have very young ones? Read a picture Bible and then talk with them about what you just read.

There is no right way to do a quiet time. The most important thing to remember is to make the time to just do it. Give your best to the Lord first and the rest of the day should go just a bit easier.

Lisa is a wife to Bob. They just began their 21st year of marriage. She is also a mom to three boys (ironic, no?). Her oldest will soon be 18 but still has one more year at home. Her middle son is 13 and her youngest is 10. She also stays busy by homeschooling her children and watching a two-year old (a boy of course) full-time as well as other assorted children as the need arises for family and friends. She is very active in her local and state homeschooling community. She is also a very avid reader, enjoys writing, loves dancing at Zumba class, and checking Facebook a little too often. Lisa strives daily to become more Christ-like. She is reminded often of the Lord's mercy and grace and is thankful that He is so gracious to extend to her on a much needed basis. She lives in Maine on her own piece of "no-where land" with her family.

Tot Time Fun

When I was home educating just one child, it was relatively easy to do so. I only had to focus on him and we managed to get most of our schoolwork done during his little brother's nap time. However, younger siblings tend to grow, more arrived, and then I even began to babysit for two little girls younger than mine by a couple of years.

Out of necessity I started to put together busy bags for the younger crew. These were activities that once they reached the age of about three, they could pull out to do on their own. Under the age of three, they were able to do most of the activities with direct supervision. All had an educational bent such as learning letters or numbers or working on motor skills. They also served the purpose of keeping little hands and minds occupied while I worked with the older boys. 

I had quite a stash of activities when my youngest was four and I had the extra two little girls. Miss L is pictured above. She was 18 months old and was putting blunt toothpicks into a spice container through the small holes. She loved this and it kept her occupied for quite some time as well as helped her to develop fine motor skills. 

During our school day I would rotate activities as well as "stations." Since I had two small toddlers in a small house, one would sit at the table and work on the activities while the other would play in a playpen with some toys.

My youngest at about age 3 working on his cutting skills.

All my activity bags were stored in a large basket. They were saved for school time only, but you could certainly use them whenever it best suited you. By saving them for a special time, it helped to keep interest in them high.

If you have friends with young children, one really fun thing I did was to participate in an activity bag swap. Twelve is a good number to have in such a swap. Each person picks an activity and creates 12 bags of the same activity. The host then collects all the bags from everyone and swaps it out so everyone gets back 12 different bags (their own plus 11 different ones). I did mine through the mail, but it would be even easier to put something together with a group of local friends.

Below I have listed some of my favorite resources as well as a couple new finds that look great! I am now babysitting a sweet two-year-old. Since we have just started back our school year, I need to come up with some more activities to keep him occupied during our learning time.

*None of these links are affiliate links - just provided for ease of finding info.

• Tot School - lots of ideas for creating tot time activities
• The Toddler's Busy Book - games and activities for children ages 1-1/2 to 3
• The Preschooler's Busy Book - games and activities for children ages 3-6
• Trish Kuffner is the author of the above books and has quite a few more.
• The original Activity Bag - they have lots of different books you can purchase. Each comes with how to put together the bags include printable instructions. They even offer a free coordinator ebook for anyone who plans to put together a swap. 
• A huge Pinterest board of ideas
• Walking By the Way - a great blog with lots of ideas listed 

Lisa is a wife to Bob. They just began their 21st year of marriage. She is also a mom to three boys (ironic, no?). Her oldest will soon be 18 but still has one more year at home. Her middle son is 13 and her youngest is 10. She also stays busy by homeschooling her children and watching a two-year old (a boy of course) full-time as well as other assorted children as the need arises for family and friends. She is very active in her local and state homeschooling community. She is also a very avid reader, enjoys writing, loves dancing at Zumba class, and checking Facebook a little too often. Lisa strives daily to become more Christ-like. She is reminded often of the Lord's mercy and grace and is thankful that He is so gracious to extend to her on a much needed basis. She lives in Maine on her own piece of "no-where land" with her family.

Calm Corners of Your Home

I love my home. It's nothing special and we really stretched ourselves to buy it. We can't afford to renovate it, but are gradually picking off jobs that need doing,one by one. This process has taken 10 years,so far.

Because so much of my home is in a state of disrepair, I found that the only way to keep loving my home was to have little corners of it, which make me happy.

When I am too tired to work and need to relax,or sit and think,or just read my Bible and pray, I have a little corner or other in most rooms where I can look and see something which I think it beautiful. I think it was William Morris who said, 'Have nothing in your home which you do not believe to be beautiful or know to be useful.'

Well, the old carpet in our bedroom was neither useful nor beautiful. Ugly and worn, it was becoming a trip hazard and had to go. Now we have mats on the floor and are camping out without a bedframe until we can afford to buy a new carpet. It could take another few months.

 In the meantime, I delight in my calm, pretty corners.

When you are knee deep in nappies and toddlers, having one spot in the house which you believe to be beautiful can be really important for your peace of mind, Dear Daughter. It may be one uncluttered shelf, one picture on a painted wall, a vase of flowers on your kitchen windowsill.

Find somewhere. Make it your own. Soon, the peaceful corners could expand into whole rooms! You never know!

Recipe: Watergate Salad

Today I thought I would share a family favorite recipe that I grew up with and now we enjoy in my family. It is a simple dish that is easy to make with young children and that they enjoy. In fact, my daughter has now taken over preparing this dish any time we have a family gathering or need to take a dish to a pot luck.

Watergate Salad

1 small package of instant pistachio pudding mix

1 can (15 or 20oz) crushed pineapple, undrained

1 tub (9oz) thawed frozen whipped topping

1 cup miniature marshmallows

optional: 1/2 cup chopped nuts 

optional: 1/2 cup marachino cherries

Mix pudding with pineapple, stir in remaining ingredients. Chill until serving. 

Alex mixing the Watergate for Thanksgiving dinner.

Jen

Family Ministry

My advice to you, Dear Daughter, is to choose a family ministry when your children are very small and work, serving the Lord together, at this ministry throughout their childhoods.

Ask the Lord's help in determining where He wants you to serve and bear in mind advice from those who know you about what your gifts and callings are. Then, commit the work to the Lord and follow.

You may have a heart for the homeless and make it your family's mission to provide for them. Maybe you and your husband love to work with children? Perhaps your family ministry is to run children's outreach events together.

It's important to pick something in which your children can be included. Often, churches call parents to important evening meetings, which involve leaving children behind with baby-sitters. This never seemed right to me. Such work can never be as important as your primary ministry - to your children. Families don't need to separate in order to serve God. In fact, when they work together as a team, they demonstrate God's faithfulness to them, as a family, in a unique way.

We chose music, since my husband was a musician and I had been, long ago, a singer. We invested in music for the children, paying for lessons, giving thought and time to their musical development, encouraging a love of musical worship, going to worship music training events and conferences together as a family, eventually serving together on Sunday mornings and at outreach concerts in the evening in our own band, Life-Songs.

Of course, there will be times when the children resist a little; perhaps your teens will need to express themselves in some other way, outside the family ministry. That's okay. The skills and compassion you have helped them develop will be used by God elsewhere.

It's starts like this.

 

Janna, my granddaughter, with her instruments, joining in a family music session.

 and it progresses to something like this...

Team Stewart leading worship on a Sunday morning.

You will be blessed by serving together, Dear Daughter!