Blessing Your Home

My bathroom with just a few fall decorations.

Autumn is definitely in the air here in the Northeast of the United States. The temperatures are dropping and the leaves are changing. This is one of my most favorite times of year. My only regret is that it's so fleeting. It seems once the leaves get colorful they fall to the ground and winter sets in seemingly in the blink of an eye. 

However, summer always seems to give one last hurrah. This past weekend it made itself known one more time. The temperatures were in the mid-80s. It had folks digging back out their flip-flops and shorts. On Saturday I spent the day outside at our local Apple Pumpkin Festival. The 4H club I run had a bake sale booth there to raise funds for our club. 

Keeping with the fall theme, I had gone to our local dollar store to pick up some fall-ish decorations for our booth. I decided to purchase them with my own money so that I could use them for my own house after the festival. Sunday afternoon I did just that. 

While I went around finding places to drape some fake fall leaves, I thought to myself - "I'm blessing our home." It only took me just a few minutes to put up the few decorations I had. I also moved around a couple of wall hangings as I had recently purchased one that needed a home on my wall.

The big picture (literally and figuratively) in my dining room. 

Yes, I have a wall of books. I'm a homeschooling mom and a bibliophile. And those books are only the ones for school. My personal books are on a small bookcase in another room and my poor hubby still has all of his books in totes in the basement. 

I love this painting. At the beginning of the month I spent the day shopping with my extended family. At our last store I spotted a bunch of these canvas prints but they were all framed and just a tad too pricey for my budget. I kept browsing and spied this one. It was unframed and on sale! Needless to say I snapped it up and couldn't wait to find a new place for it in my home. It fits on this wall perfectly and I absolutely love the scale of it. It is roughly three feet by two feet. 

This wonderful hand tatted name was created for us by a friend when we bought our home. It used to hang in the dining room where the new large painting resides. This is now hanging right by our front door.

Even my hubby's moose antlers had to get dressed up for the season. 

It didn't take me much time or money to dress up my house for the season. Typically the only season or holiday I decorate for is Christmas. However, this year I decided to spend some time blessing my home and changing things up a bit for fall. Will I do this next year? Who knows. Sometimes it all depends on if my children feel it's a "tradition" that needs to be kept or if it's just for my pleasure. Either reason is reason enough.

Happy Fall!

Lisa is a wife to Bob. They just began their 21st year of marriage. She is also a mom to three boys (ironic, no?). Her oldest will soon be 18 but still has one more year at home. Her middle son is 13 and her youngest is 10. She also stays busy by homeschooling her children and watching a two-year old (a boy of course) full-time as well as other assorted children as the need arises for family and friends. She is very active in her local and state homeschooling community. She is also a very avid reader, enjoys writing, loves dancing at Zumba class, and checking Facebook a little too often. Lisa strives daily to become more Christ-like. She is reminded often of the Lord's mercy and grace and is thankful that He is so gracious to extend to her on a much needed basis. She lives in Maine on her own piece of "no-where land" with her family.

Calm Corners of Your Home

I love my home. It's nothing special and we really stretched ourselves to buy it. We can't afford to renovate it, but are gradually picking off jobs that need doing,one by one. This process has taken 10 years,so far.

Because so much of my home is in a state of disrepair, I found that the only way to keep loving my home was to have little corners of it, which make me happy.

When I am too tired to work and need to relax,or sit and think,or just read my Bible and pray, I have a little corner or other in most rooms where I can look and see something which I think it beautiful. I think it was William Morris who said, 'Have nothing in your home which you do not believe to be beautiful or know to be useful.'

Well, the old carpet in our bedroom was neither useful nor beautiful. Ugly and worn, it was becoming a trip hazard and had to go. Now we have mats on the floor and are camping out without a bedframe until we can afford to buy a new carpet. It could take another few months.

 In the meantime, I delight in my calm, pretty corners.

When you are knee deep in nappies and toddlers, having one spot in the house which you believe to be beautiful can be really important for your peace of mind, Dear Daughter. It may be one uncluttered shelf, one picture on a painted wall, a vase of flowers on your kitchen windowsill.

Find somewhere. Make it your own. Soon, the peaceful corners could expand into whole rooms! You never know!

Home: Love Your Neighbor

Jesus answered, "The foremost is, 'HEAR, O ISRAEL! THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD; AND YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH.' "The second is this, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' There is no other commandment greater than these." ~Mark 12:29-31

In the hustle and bustle of today's 24/7 internet connectivity, we sometimes forget to look up from our cell phones and screens to notice and participate in the life that surrounds our homes.  We prefer to connect with the comfortable and passive  - friends and family on Facebook, for instance.  We desire to love and serve, but we tend to prefer to do it when it's safe, convenient or comfortable.

Let me encourage you to be brave and step out in faith.  God has placed you in community for such a time as this.  That older widow across the street?  Invite her for a cup of tea.  The young family on the right?  Bake cookies and bring them over with a smile. Take the time to love them. Let the love of the Lord empower you to love those that live next door. Dear daughter, notice your neighbors and actively participate in the community that God has placed you within.  Don't mind your own business!  Say hello over the fence.  Be a friend.

Three weeks ago, my neighbor, Roy, noticed that our mutual neighbor, Melody, hadn't taken her trash cans back up to the house after pickup.  This was not her usual habit, so he brought the cans up for her and knocked to see if she was okay.  He discovered that she had fallen during the night and needed an ambulance.  We were so grateful that he had checked on her!  She's back home now and healing well.  Yesterday, I saw Scott from two doors down mowing her yard. It is such a beautiful experience to see people living out, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  It is a privilege and a blessing to be a part of community.

Daughter, do you know at least five of your neighbors? Do you know their names and have their phone numbers? What is happening in each of their lives? How can you pray for them?  Introduce yourself. Show interest. Connect intentionally.  Love your neighbor as yourself.

Grateful for grace,

Yvonne Ferlita has been married for nearly twenty-five years and is mother to four children ages 22, 20, 16 and 11 years old. She is a follower of Jesus and gratefully relies on His grace. Having overcome perfectionism, she has embraced the imperfect excellence found in the ordinary life God has given her. Yvonne has homeschooled her children since 1998 and has helped them enjoy their unique gifts, while overcoming various learning and life challenges. Her therapy is writing, crocheting, swimming and laughing. She and her family reside in Brandon, Florida surrounded by four orphaned cats and a lovely, but bossy, labrador retriever. She blogs to encourage at Not Perfect - Just Ordinary.

Developing a Godly Attitude to Finances: Part 1

Money.

Ugh, for so long, I've been afraid of it. Growing up on limited means and then years of student living, part-time jobs etc, you'd think I would have been fine once I had a job teaching. Unfortunately not; this is when it all started to go downhill for me. Even though I had a reasonably good income, I was living in London, one of the most expensive cities on earth! 

Later, when my husband and I bought a home together, we went through a period of financial security I'd never known before and so I still didn't learn how to budget. I didn't think we needed to.We gave a lot of our money away and spent a lot on a music production business.

An emigration, a failed business, the loss of our home, AND return to the UK with nothing more than the $200 gift of a generous friend, we crash landed into the mid 90's with 2 small children, nowhere to live and no means of earning a living. My husband studied for a couple of years and worked some part-time jobs and then, eventually, through God's Grace, found the job he has now.

The new job and new faith (we had only just become Christians) demanded a new relationship with money and better, much better, money management. I discovered Crown Financial Ministries and started to listen to their radio programmes online. They were a real eye-opener. I learned about God's generosity to us, that everything we had belonged to Him and that we needed to give generously back to Him.

Through living out the principles we learned at Crown, we were able to pay back a terrible debt, without going into bankruptcy. It took us many years, but we did it. Two years ago, we had an unexpected tax debt of £10,000 to pay. We managed it, over the course of two years. It wasn't easy. However, with the right attitude to money (It's all God's anyway) and the tools we learned at Crown, we are almost back on track again now.

The Crown wallet for the money envelopes.

Back to 1998: My husband was finally working in stable employment and we had to keep a tight control on where our money was going. We started to use a tool from Crown: the envelope system, which is explained in detail here. This was helpful for a number of years and as we gradually grasped the principles of Godly money management, we found we didn't need it any more.

Inside the wallet, you can see the compartments.

Crown is a US programme. Since that time, a UK organisation has emerged as a superb support for those needing to clear debt and design a budget. Christians Against Poverty. It works in a different way to Crown, but it very useful, and I would advise every young couple about to get married, or just married to go through their course which is available through local churches.

Finally, Dear Daughter, God has a great deal to say to you personally about money, poverty, debt, work, generosity and contentment. It's all there in his Word. You would be AMAZED at how much he says about it! Just to get you started, you could download and read this booklet from Crown, which explores much of what God has to say, in the Bible, about such things.

I pray that you be neither rich nor poor, as each has challenges, but that you have sufficient for God's purposes and much gratitude for His many blessings to you.

Mimi is a wife to Jamie, mother to two grown up children, a mother-in-law and a grandmother to a darling little grand-daughter. She home-educated her children and now teaches exam subjects to groups of home-educated children. She's a Worship Leader in her church and has a passion for helping women raise children to adulthood with a strong faith in the Lord Jesus.

Our Favorite Recipe Book

I have been blessed over the years to accumulate many recipes from friends, co-workers and relatives.  Rarely are the recipes ever in the form of a recipe card like the ones that my mother kept.  Rather, they were scribbled on pieces of paper, or shared online, or passed down from a great grandmother on stationary, then copied by grandmother and passed to my mother, and then copied again to be passed to me.  A few years ago, I decided to create a recipe notebook.

Great Grandma Violet Rowley-Teunick's War Cake Recipe

Not only did I like that I could organize the recipes by type, but I could also preserve the handwriting of my friends and family.  I know many women love to make their notebooks pretty, but I really needed mine to be functional.  I wanted something that was going to be durable and I didn't want to worry about spills and messes while I was cooking.

My Recipe Notebook

Supplies you will need:

a heavy duty, three inch, three ring binder
page protectors - begin with a pack of fifty
page dividers
your favorite recipes

Organize your recipes in the way that makes most sense to you.  I keep it simple.  I have a category for:

Soups/Stews
Chicken
Beef
Pork
Fish
Veggies
Baking (Cakes, Pies, Cookies, etc...)
Secret Family Recipes

I have a friend who decided to organize her book based on who gave her the recipes:

Grandma Smith
Great Grandma Taylor
Aunt Christy
Kate
Ellen
Paula

My friend has an amazing mind and she can recall who gave her which recipe and she knows right where to look.  But me?  I'd be lost!  So choose a system that works for you.

Once you decide how to organize your recipes, label your page dividers, and begin filling your page protectors with recipes.  Don't skip the page protectors!  We all mean to be careful, but spills and splotches happen!

Keep an extra supply of page protectors on hand.  I usually try a recipe at least twice before I add it to my notebook.  My notebook is only for the recipes I want to keep for regular or future use.  It has a pocket in the front, so I usually keep untried recipes there, and then if we decide we like them, I pop them into a page protector and file it in its proper place.  I try to remember to make a note on the recipe about how well my family liked it and if I needed to make any changes to the ingredients.

I enjoy the order my notebook has brought to my kitchen.  I no longer have to rummage through a tiny box for folded, oil stained scraps of paper.  Nor do I have to guess where I last left a recipe, "Did I leave it in the kitchen drawer? Or did I fold it up in the cookbook?" - while my hungry family waits for supper.  A little bit of organization now prevents much frustration later.  Who knew a notebook could help us be happier homemakers?

Many blessings,






Yvonne Ferlita has been married for nearly twenty-five years and is mother to four children ages 22, 20, 16 and 11 years old. She is a follower of Jesus and gratefully relies on His grace. Having overcome perfectionism, she has embraced the imperfect excellence found in the ordinary life God has given her. Yvonne has homeschooled her children since 1998 and has helped them enjoy their unique gifts, while overcoming various learning and life challenges. Her therapy is writing, crocheting, swimming and laughing. She and her family reside in Brandon, Florida surrounded by four orphaned cats and a lovely, but bossy, labrador retriever. She blogs to encourage at Not Perfect - Just Ordinary.

Surviving an Emergency Budget

Hard times are something most of us will experience during the course of our marriages. It is an unusually fortunate marriage which never goes through a financial crisis of some kind.

Sometimes, these things are temporary; sometimes they are extended. Our family has experienced both and no doubt will again. We have little margin, meagre savings (only an REAL emergency amount which we try never to have to dip into) and live from month to month. Partly, this has been as a result of our own mismanagement of resources decades ago, before we were Christians; partly it is because we have chosen to give much, rather than to save much. I regret the former, but not the latter, although this does mean periods of budget gaps from time to time.

When you see a budget deficit looming on the horizon, don't panic! Easier said than done, as I *have* been known to panic! :-) However, there are things that can be done to help you through the period of shortfall.

I'm not referring here to an ongoing situation of needing to be frugal. I'm talking about a suddenly much tighter budget, because of some unexpected circumstances, such as an immediate redundancy or a car repair bill that was beyond expectations.

Sit down with your husband to agree a household budget. Make sure that bills and debts are taken care of. Talk to your children, if they are old enough, and explain the situation and get them on board. Plan something to look forward to which they will enjoy doing, once the super lean period is over.

When you know what your emergency food budget is going to be, and over what time period, you can start to plan.

1. Make a list of what you already have in your freezer and store cupboards.
2. Plan every single meal (including snacks and drinks), making sure that you use up what you already have, in date order. If you have some leftover chicken in the fridge, it makes sense to plan a meal for tonight around that, than to open a can of ham or defrost some mince. 
3. Carbohydrate-based foods will obviously fill people up, although they are the ones which will cause weight gain. Over a short period, it won't matter too much, but you know what your family's tendencies are in this department and will have to adjust things accordingly.
4. Plan meals which will feel filling and nutritious but ease back on the more expensive ingredients.
5. Buy only exactly what you will need. Obviously, look out for budget alternatives to your usual brands. Don't be tempted to buy 2 For 1 offers UNLESS you KNOW how you can work them into your plan as alternatives. This is not the time for stocking up. That time has passed. Now is the time to stick to what is on your list.
6. Post your meal plan on the fridge and stick to it. This will help you and may obviate any whining from the family.
7. Get yourself organised and actually cook. Budget meals will usually involve some extra effort and organising.

Some home made lemon cordial and vegies ready to plant.

 

Some resources that might help.

• I used Hillbilly Housewife's $40 Emergency Menu once, with a few UK substitutions. Food is more expensive here, but the principles were excellent.
• Susanne also has some great ideas for meal planning too.
• There are some good tips and recipes at Sainsbury's Live Well For Less site, but I have to say that 'toast' doesn't seem a great plan for breakfast for growing children.
• There are some delicious budget recipes at Budget Bytes.

Obviously, life will be easier, the bigger your stock pile. Once the squeeze is over, go on a controlled re-stocking spree. This is now the time to look for the store cupboard essentials that are on special offer and refill your freezer.

Chicken and vegetable soup

Good luck, Dear Daughter. You aren't the first to have to tighten your belt for a while. You can do it!

Mimi is a wife to Jamie, mother to two grown up children, a mother-in-law and a grandmother to a darling little grand-daughter. She home-educated her children and now teaches exam subjects to groups of home-educated children. She's a Worship Leader in her church and has a passion for helping women raise children to adulthood with a strong faith in the Lord Jesus.

How to Organize a Chore Routine

                                                        The Washing Line by Helen Allingham 1848-1926

Sometimes mothers feel compelled to do it all. We have many responsibilities to juggle and somehow we feel that if we can successfully keep all the balls in the air, we can prove our worth to the world. The world says that we are, “just mothers.” Matt Walsh brilliantly refutes the word, “just,” in an article titled, “You're a Stay At Home Mom. What Do You Do All Day?” In this encouraging article he puts the word “just,” to rest.

“Yes, my wife is JUST a mother. JUST. She JUST brings forth life into the universe, and she JUST shapes and molds and raises those lives. She JUST manages, directs and maintains the workings of the household, while caring for children who JUST rely on her for everything. She JUST teaches our twins how to be human beings, and, as they grow, she will JUST train them in all things, from morals, to manners, to the ABC’s, to hygiene, etc. She is JUST my spiritual foundation and the rock on which our family is built. She is JUST everything to everyone. And society would JUST fall apart at the seams if she, and her fellow moms, failed in any of the tasks I outlined.

Yes, she is just a mother. Which is sort of like looking at the sky and saying, “hey, it’s just the sun.”

Daughter, grasp that truth! Nothing you do should be belittled. You are important. Your worth is not dependent on your success at emulating Wonder Woman. So choose wisdom! A wise woman knows she has limits and asks for help. She does not stuff her exhaustion, nor does she grow bitterness. The mom who is wise knows that working together as a family builds unity and refines character. Please don't hinder your family by trying to do it all.

                                            The Rabbit Hutch by Helen Allingham 1848-1926

So how does one organize a chore routine? This is what works for me.  You might like another method, but this might be a starting point.

1. Consider all the chores that need to be done, broken down by rooms and/or spaces. (living room, bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, laundry room, outside, garden, etc...) Write them down as soon as you think of them. Keep a list for a week and add to it anytime you remember another task.
   
   
   Example: In the bathroom, I wrote down the following chores:
   
   
   a. Wipe countertop/Scrub sink and sink fixtures
   b. Clean mirror
   c. Wipe toilet with disinfectant wipe, scrub hinge area with brush
   d. Clean inside toilet with cleaner/brush
   e. Scrub bathtub/tiles/fixtures
   f. Sweep/mop

2. Determine how often each task needs to be performed. (Daily, once a week, twice a week, etc.)  Don't forget outdoor chores!

3. Prayerfully consider who in your family is capable of accomplishing each task.  Remember that your children require patient training and accountability.  Please don't discount their abilities or potential. They want to emulate everything mommy does! Take advantage of their play. Invite them to sort socks, load the dryer, sweep the floor, and help you do the dishes. A little extra effort in training them when they are young, will teach them the very important message of, “I can!” Lavish them with your praise.
   
   Divide the chores between everyone in the family, so that no one is over burdened. If you have very young children, Mom and Dad will still have the bulk of the chores. I encourage you to re-evaluate this list every year. New chores can be shares with children who have grown in maturity.

4. Now, write or type each family member's name on a piece of paper and list the chores they will be required to accomplish along with how often the tasks need to be done.
   Katie, age 5
   Sort clothes whites/colors (  twice weekly )
   Bring soiled clothing to the laundry room ( twice weekly )
   Set the table for dinner  ( daily )
   Fold wash clothes and hand towels ( twice weekly )
   Help Mommy and Daddy load the dishwasher ( daily )
   Pick up toys in Living Room  ( twice daily )
   Tidy bedroom ( twice daily )
   Put away toilet paper in bathrooms on shopping day ( once weekly )
   Help put away groceries on shopping day ( once weekly )
5. Next, decide when you want the chores to be done. I have discovered that two chore periods a day, keeps the atmosphere in our home much more tidy and relaxed. We do our chores once in the morning, and then again after dinner. Experiment to find what works for you.  Choose times that seem sensible for chores. We do chores after breakfast and Bible are done in the morning, and then again right after dinner.
   Now look at each family member's chore list. Divide their chores into the time frame that you have decided upon.
   
   Note:  In our family, I have designed a routine for the weekdays and one for the weekends that includes yard work or tasks that require a team.
   
   Once you finalize your task routines, type up a list complete with boxes to check off as they accomplish each chore. Slip each list into a page protector and post it on the refrigerator. Attach a dry erase marker to make it easy to check them off. For very young children you can use pictures to depict a chore, rather than words.

Katie, age 5 – Morning Chores

Help Mommy load the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher

Pick up morning toys

Sort laundry and bring clothes to the laundry room

Fold wash clothes and hand towels

Katie, age 5 – Evening Chores

Set table for dinner

Wipe table off with a soft cloth

Help Daddy put the dishes into the dishwasher

Pick up evening toys

Tidy bedroom before story-time

Katie, age 5 – Weekend Chores

Help Mommy put away the groceries

Make sure there is toilet paper in both bathrooms

6. Call a Family Circle to introduce the new routine, explaining its necessity and encouraging everyone that they are a vital component in making home feel and function better.
7. Take a few weeks to train children in the chores you have assigned them. First show them how to do the chore, then do it with them. Finally, release them to do it themselves. Encourage their successes and gently correct their mistakes. Regularly inspect their work. Require them to repeat the chore if it is done poorly. Use encouraging words and celebrate every little success.
8. Be prepared to tweak your routine and chore assignments as necessary.

With a bit of hard work and patient perseverance, you will be enjoying a tidy and more organized home.

Many blessings,

Yvonne Ferlita has been married for nearly twenty-five years and is mother to four children ages 22, 20, 16 and 11 years old.  She is a follower of Jesus and gratefully relies upon His grace. Having overcome perfectionism, she has embraced the imperfect excellence found in the ordinary life God has given her. Yvonne has homeschooled her children since 1998 and has helped them enjoy their unique gifts, while overcoming various learning and life challenges. Her therapy is writing, crocheting, swimming and laughing. She and her family reside in Brandon, Florida surrounded by four orphaned cats and a lovely, but bossy, labrador retriever. She blogs to encourage at Not Perfect - Just Ordinary.

Monday: Home

'An Englishman's home is his castle.' The meaning of this saying is, I think, that our homes are the places we feel most safe, where we have some control over what happens, where we can live peaceful and satisfying lives. I feel confident in asserting that this applies to men and women everywhere, not just in England! We each need our home to be a place of sanctuary where we can recharge our batteries for the parts of our lives which are out in the world and possibly outside our own control.

For those of us who are organisationally challenged, our homes can quickly become less than helpful in meeting those goals. The mountains of ironing that threaten to topple over, the mountains of dirty dishes, the great piles of important paperwork left unattended can all contribute to feelings of anxiety for everyone in the family.

Those who find such things never happen in their household will find it hard to understand those of us who do. Sandra Felton thinks the world is divided into Messies and Cleanies. She describes herself as a Messie and freely admits that she needs help to organise herself. Long ago I read one of her books and recognised myself. I needed to set in motion some systems which helped me to function better within my home and help me to create somewhere warm and welcoming for my family to return to each day.

Sandra has a blog which you may find helpful.

Another blogger I have found incredibly helpful is Rhonda at Down To Earth. She has some great practical ideas for getting organised and the wonderful thing about her is that she believes in the intrinsic value of our work at home.

 

Some people find Flylady helpful in establishing routines.

Organized Home is also brilliantly helpful. I've used many of her printable resources.

On future Mondays you will find other links, resources and tips for controlling and pacifying your work at home, enabling you to enjoy being there. 

Welcome home, dear daughter!

Mimi is a wife to Jamie, mother to two grown up children, a mother-in-law and a grandmother to a darling little grand-daughter. She home-educated her children and now teaches exam subjects to groups of home-educated children. She's a Worship Leader in her church and has a passion for helping women raise children to adulthood with a strong faith in the Lord Jesus.