Tuesday: Love, Know, Speak, Do

As wives and mothers, we often find ourselves in a position of influence. In this position, we have choices to make. Will we encourage our loved ones to draw near to Christ by helping them examine the sin in their lives and their heart's motivation? Will we support them with loving accountability? Or will we focus on behavior and circumstances alone? Will we demand change and become frustrated and judgmental when our expectation is not met?

When most people seek to change, they rarely think about the heart. Their focus is upon the behaviors or actions. Therefore, many times change happens for a short time, but they find themselves or their loved ones repeating the same sins over and over again. This is so frustrating for all parties in a relationship. So as women, how can we encourage in a way that helps others create lasting change?

Love – like Jesus - no matter what.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” ~ Romans 5:8

Know – a person deeply. Don't assume you know someone completely. Ask questions. Get to know your loved one's values, dreams, hopes, and desires. Christ came to this earth and got to know us over thirty-three years. Persevere in knowing your husband, children, in-laws and friends. Dig below the surface...gently. Value the privilege of knowing others deeply.

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. 16 Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." ~ Hebrews 4:14-16

Speak – the Gospel everyday. Ask God what your loved one needs to see to gain the understanding he/she needs for lasting change. Pray for wisdom and speak the truth when God gives you the go-ahead. Your goal is to help your loved one see more clearly.

"...Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love." ~ Ephesians 4:15-16

Do – something with what they have learned. Help your loved one apply the information they have received from God, then provide loving accountability. Remember, just knowing the truth is not enough.

"But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does." ~James 1:22-25

Grateful for grace,
 

 

Yvonne Ferlita has been married for nearly twenty-five years and is mother to four children ages 22, 20, 16 and 11 years old. She is a follower of Jesus and gratefully relies on His grace. Having overcome perfectionism, she has embraced the imperfect excellence found in the ordinary life God has given her. Yvonne has homeschooled her children since 1998 and has helped them enjoy their unique gifts, while overcoming various learning and life challenges. Her therapy is writing, crocheting, swimming and laughing. She and her family reside in Brandon, Florida surrounded by four orphaned cats and a lovely, but bossy, labrador retriever. She blogs to encourage at Not Perfect - Just Ordinary.